Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hi, This week we completed 24 years of marriage. During these 24 years, we have gone thru various phases - state of extreme love and affection to the extreme hatred and anger towards each other.

We started our married life on Sep 22,1985. With a low cost marriage on a sunday afternoon, my mom was very upset as few of my Mama's and Massi's skipped the marriage function due to some dispute with my parents.

Initial few years were tough, there were financial problems, my rigid ideas about religion and dowry, my focus on work and my hobby of reading books and electronics development were not very conducive for love and affection.

My mother completed her life in Feb 1987 due to high blood pressure. She was in hospital for around 3 months.

We moved to a rented accommodation. Geeta was pregnant and we had no money for backup. Geeta resigned from her job as a teacher in Manav Sthali School and we managed on a monthly salary of Rs 3600/-.

Upasana was born on July 22nd,1987 in a 'five star' nursing home with airconditioned room, color TV and a large double door fridge. We did not have either of these at our home. Thanks to medical expense reimbursement policy of DCM Data Products, we were able to afford this luxury.

I visited Hongkong twice in connection to my part time work. Upasana was growing and we enjoyed her activities. Extra money from part time work allowed us few luxeries like a 14" color TV and frequent holidays to Massoori, Hardiwar, Shimla and few more places.

In 1990, I changed job and moved to PCL at a salary of Rs 6,000/- per month. I was able to get some part time work. I designed two software packages for a 5 star hotel and ASIC for a computer printer.

In 1992, I got a job at INTECON (same company for whom I designed ASIC) and shifted to Noida at a salary of 15k per month. I bought a second hand moped and learned driving it. Travelling on our own conveyance gave us lot of freedom and enjoyment. My part time work continued and I kept on making few thousands every month extra.

In 1995, I designed a set top converter. That got me good money in Lakhs, I bought a second hand fiat, A two bed room flat and of course a mobile phone. Geeta took care of interiors at our home and it was model flat in our colony. Almost every day we had a walk-in visitor who wanted to look at our home, wood work etc..

In 1996, Intecon closed down and I started my design work on a full time basis. This was the best period.We had money, love, growth and happiness in our life.

In 1998, Geeta suffered from sever back-pain and we had to move to a rented accommodation. One of my design on CALLER ID became instant hit and I earned again few lakhs. I bought air conditioned SANTRO car. This car changed our life and we travelled long distance to Haridwar, Rishikesh, Sariska, Ludhiana by road.

Dimpi and Abhijit joined my company as trainee, Very soon they were part of our family.

In 2003, we shifted to JSS Incubator. Our profits kept on increasing. I did not know at that time, But now I realise that the earnings made me an arrogant and rude persons.

We bought our first luxury car HONDA CITY in Jan 2004.

Things started going down the drain and I started loosing business, money and on top of it love and intimacy at home.

Between 2004 to 2008, it was a dark period of our life, Geeta decided to kill herself, I decided to divorce her and we had bitter fights regularly. This further affected our business. We lost all love, intimacy and peace.

Vijay, my younger brother suffered from Pancreatites and Heart Problems. He was able to recover thanks to his will-power. Despite his health problems, he performed well at his office and was able to reach to a high(est) level in his office.

In Aug 2006, I attended Landmark Education's program called Landmark Forum. The three days spent there opened my eyes and I could see my mistakes. However realising mistakes did not solve any real world problems. Geeta and Upasana also participated in landmark programs. However slowly and gradually, period of love and intimacy started increasing and fights and anger reduced.

Landmark taught us that every thing is possible, just declare what you want, work for it and you will get it - no small print or conditions apply.

I declared some targets - one was to let go of my anger towards my mama and mami not attending my marriage. Geeta supported me fully and very soon, we re-created our relations with Mama and Mami, our cousins and their kids. We spoke with Suparna in Sep 2006 almost 20 years after her marriage and met Neerja in Jan 2007 and her cute little princesses, Neha and Vritti, first time in June 2007.

Geeta also re-created her relations with her younger sister in Oct 2006. Both of them particiapted in Landmark Forum and Geeta gave up her anger towards her sister and today there is lot of love and affection between sisters.

In Jan 2008, Maggie came and joined our family. She contributed unconditional love in our family and became darling of all of us including our neighbours. Now to all kids we are 'Maggie ke Papa and Mummy' and not 'Tau and Tai'.

In July 2008, I shifted to Amity Innovation Incubator. My business profits started increasing and by March 2009, we are clear of all debts. During next few months, we made some extra money and kept it safe as buffer stock. Upasana joined MA (Psychology) in Kurukshetra. She was happy in doing what she wanted.

Dad completed his life on Aug 8,2008 after remaining unconscious for few weeks due to (probably) his sugar level falling very low . As per his wishes he was cremated at Indraprastha, a small village near Bhuj, Gujrat. I spent few days at the village after cremation. We also donated his eyes and other organs.

Geeta started working for half day from home and his earnings increase to 15k per month soon. She also controls all the finance of my business and visits my office once or twice every week. She remain busy, happy and excited. She spend all his earnings on buying gold / jewellery.

Abhihit resigned from his job in May 2009 after working for almost 10 years with us. Dimpi also left the job some time in 2006, however she kept doing some part time work in between. She moved to Mumbai and then back to Gurgaon. Geeta and Dimpi have developed a good bond and keep on sharing lot. Hardik (Dimpi's son) has developed a good bond with me and during his last visit to our home, declared his desire to change his name to Hardik Vinay.

In Aug 2009, we shifted back to our home. Again Geeta worked hard on interiors and renovated our home. IT IS LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL and FULL OF LOVE, HAPPINESS AND INTIMACY.

Now we are looking forward to Sep 2010 when we will be completing 25 years of marriage.

Have faith in Love and Truth. Give 100% to your partner. Nothing matters more than Love and Happiness.